1000 Words of Yaoi
by thatyaoiguy
Summary: 1000 word long short stories, full of Yaoi! Written by an actual guy, and WARNING: May give you involuntary sex ed lessons, thanks to the fact that a lot of Yaoi Fangirls have a tendency to not know how Gay sex in general works. I guess that makes this educational, so.. Yay?
1. Chapter 1

**In absence of a proper Uke.**

Hell, as you would believe, is a very barren, hot place, with no civilization and perhaps a bit heavy on the screams of the damned.

In essence, it's like Wyoming.

Now, in the rare absence that you find civilization, it's rarely the kind you would want to meet.

Like Wyoming.

In one of these civilizations, a black castle stands on a ridge, made of Obsidian, carefully cut to be as menacing as possible, and so any looters will get slashed fingers from climbing up the walls. In the castle, two Incubi lay tiredly on couches. One, with skin pale as moonlight and jet black hair, that if looked at the right way would suggest a tinge of blue, asked the other, "Remember Sebastian?"

The other demon, a bright red incubus with horns and blonde hair, got up, "Yeah, why'd you ask, Celcia?" He frowned, stretching, "Simple, Ignis. I was wondering whether or not you knew of his whereabouts, after all, he was fun to play with..." A silly grin formed on his face, rather unbecoming of his physically menacing features.

"Ah, right... He never even struggled. I think he was summoned away." The demon known as Ignis grinned back at him.

"..Summoned? You would think those pink skins would realize to not bother with us, shame on him though, for picking such a welcoming title, I told him not to pick 'The Ever Loyal'." Celcia frowned.

"Yeah, that's just good advice in general, I mean, I deliberately picked the most pathetic title ever!"

"…And that would be..?"

"The king of Raspberry tarts!"

"I'm the Master of unlocking. Though I have to give you points for creat-" A tattoo on the Incubi's bare chest started to turn a bright red, "-… Son of a bitch."

The other incubus started to laugh, as Celcia began to fade from that world and into the next, "Well, speak of the devil."

He casually waited, and soon Celcia came back, his apparent summoner, a female gagged, supposedly to prevent her from chanting a spell that could get her back, Ignis grinned, "Another wet behind the ears summoner..?" Celcia nodded, "Her first. Shoulda' picked an imp or something to start out with, doll."

She whimpered, he threw her off, "I'll drain her of life later, I'll rest for the evening." Ignis grinned, "Tired so soon? I thought you didn't have fun with pink-skin gir-"A pale fist connected with Ignis' face, and Celcia left for the evening. Ignis frowned, looking over at the girl with his cheek bruised.  
"So… What's up?"

Celcia lied on his bed on top of the covers to let the cool air connect with his nude body. He stretched, not hearing the soft footsteps of the other demon. Ignis walked into the room, surprisingly silent for someone of his size. Celcia blinked and looked up at the other demon, who snapped his fingers. Chains, conjured from seemingly nowhere, clasped around his arms, flipping him over onto his belly. Ignis grinned, "Remember when you bent me over a table for three days while your minions fucked me in a line?" Celcia laughed, "Oh, I didn't hear you complaining."

Ignis frowned, "I was gagged."

Celcia purred, "And please, do tell how is this going to punish me..?"

Ignis laughed, "Oh, you're always clueless, aren't you. The Daemons code requires an offering of a fluid that creates life, in short, blood or cum. Once said fluid is spilled, said being is…"

Celcia whimpered, eyes turning wide, "…The other's slave for a predetermined amount of time…"

Ignis purred, running hands down Celcia's back, "You had the kindness to make sure your Minions were too weak to make such a contract. I am not so kind..."

Celcia began to softly plead, feeling the other demon enter him. He gasped as he felt Ignis' length throbbing inside. Desperate to not show submission, he bit his lip. Ignis simply laughed, seeing Celcia's struggle to maintain a semblance of dignity. He continued the motion, his hips rocking back and forth, Celcia's arousal soon showing as his own length became erect. Ignis noticed this, "Oh, giving up so soon, Love?" He gently put his fingers around it, his thumb slightly touching the head, and he began to stroke it.

The pleasure overwhelmed Celcia, his face, normally pale as ice, began to warm up. Already, his tip was leaking pre-cum, he could feel it building up inside him, and he started to pant softly. Feeling the weakness in his partner, Ignis grinned, thrusting deep and hard inside him. Celcia grew a bit frantic, lightly thrashing against the steel cuffs. Ignis purred, feeling his partner's knees shaking with every thrust, "You know, I could've just cut you and be done with it… But what's the fun in that..? After all, seeing you bleed is a lot less fun than feeling you squirm underneath me."

Celcia flipped him off in the cuffs, too drunk on the feel of an oncoming climax to talk, "Hm, well, I suppose that would sum up my feelings if I were you." Ignis continued his motions, and soon Ignis couldn't take it. He let out a long and loud cry, it echoing on the obsidian walls, his chest and belly became sticky with his own seed, and he collapsed, gasping for breath. Ignis pulled out of him, lying next to him with a stupid grin, "You're mine now."

"I…" Celcia paused to gasp, "… Am fully aware of my situation... And all I have to ask, is what can I possibly do to cut this... humiliation… short?"

Ignis smirked, "Stay in bed and try not to maul me." He snapped his fingers, releasing Celcia from the cuffs. Celcia reluctantly lied down on the bed, but as time passed by, he looped his arms around the other male's waist, purring as he fell asleep, his head on Ignis' chest.

Ignis looked at him with a smile, "Hm. Never took him for the loving type."

The summoner, her face a bright red, looked at the both of them, as she had been watching the events unfold in their entirety. She made a silent note that even if she was to be eaten, at least she would die happy.


	2. Sub story: Yaoi education!

Hello, Y-Guy here, and before we do another full update, I'd like to talk about lube and anal sex in general! Now, if this was anything but a yaoi fanfic corner, this would be gross and completely unnecessary, but I feel like I need to say something. In short, actively, a lot of Gay couples do not do Anal, because it can be painful if done wrong, and it can be considered extremely messy due to, well... The contents of the intestinal tract. I don't think I need to say more. Most gay couples do things such as mutual masturbation, oral sex, handjobs, so on, so forth. But in the occasion that they DO do it, a certain thing is needed!

Lube.

Seriously, while for some people there's an appeal in 'Going in dry', it leads to a LOT of pain on the Bottom's part, it's generally more fun for everyone if the Top just uses Lube! Now, I've seen some fanfics that use.. Unconventional, so to speak, objects as lube, and I'm just going to debunk those.

Blood- Vampire fanfiction, need I say more? While it sounds smart originally (It's a liquid), blood is a coagulant, meaning it's supposed to STOP the flow of blood. In short, it's anti-lube. If blood functioned like lube, we'd all die from a paper cut.

Butter- Butter spoils. No, really. When it does, you do not want that inside of you.

Sweet foods like ice cream- Sugar is a solid, people, which in general would lead to a very, well, grainy feel in about five minutes in, also, it has the same problems as butter. Also, if you're a girl and having sex, if your dumbass boyfriend/husband/fling/cousin if you live in Kentucky etc. etc. that could leave you with a yeast infection.

Next on my list, how the Bottom reaches orgasm.

Essentially, there's an organ located in the intestinal tract called the Prostate, and when touched, it produces an IMMENSELY pleasurable sensation, this, of course, leads to straight guys questioning their sexuality during prostate exams, but for us, it's just a fun fact of life.

Problem is, it's not located in a very easy spot to reach, it's positioned in a very, VERY, awkward area. Funnily enough, a less well-hung guy can reach the prostate with ease, but generally, if you're balls deep in your lover, you probably aren't hitting the prostate. Hence why it's generally just easier to give the guy a blowjob or a handjob, it's easier, cleaner, and it results in the same effect.

Hope I've educated you more.

Now, on the matter of the next thousand words, that's going to come soon, once I get off of my severe addiction to Minecraft. Drop me a message for an idea on the next thousand words, if I like it, or if it's asked for by multiple people, I'll do it!

Ciao~

Y.G.


	3. Chapter 2: A certain Shinigami

Things had changed after the events before, most notably, the two demons began to stand each other, in their own way. Before, it was more of a matter of survival, they wanted the same thing, but rather than risk their lives obtaining it, they were smart enough to share it, however begrudgingly. Their human captive, now oddly willing to stay, was ungagged, and free to roam the place as she wished. Today, Ignis was lying down on the couch, running his serpentine tongue along his teeth, Celcia resting in the bed upstairs. The girl, he didn't know where she was, and wasn't one to care.

The door opened, shining hellish light into the black obsidian castle, and Ignis looked up from the couch, a figure with long red hair, brandishing a chainsaw, grinning in a way that made the demon shake, walked inside.

"Hello~?" The figure called out, in a voice that could be placed in the realm of, 'Uncomfortably gender neutral.' Ignis hopped out from the couch, and bowed.

"Mm, well, hello, Miss..?" He at least hoped it was a miss.

"Oh, I'm Grell, Grell Sutcliff! I'm a Shinigami-"

Ignis slightly wished he hadn't stowed away the girl.

"-And I was tracking a missing person, who was last detected here. You wouldn't know anything about a Demon summoner, right?"

"Well… She did come here, but she… Um, she left!" He smiled, "What a shame too, I was hoping I could slay her myself…" Grell frowned.

"You're lying."

Ignis' blood ran cold, and he backed up, "Of course I'm not! It's the truth, honestly!"

"I can smell her, you know." S/he frowned, leaning against her chainsaw, which seemed even more threatening than usual.

"How much do you want? How many souls! 100, 200, hell, I'll even collect 300 if you-"

"Eight. Inches."

Ignis raised an eyebrow. "…What?"

"Without clothes, it's easy for other people to see your... Ahem, length."

Ignis frowned, "I don't need clothes, no one ever comes here, and what's that got to do with anything?"

Grell dropped the chainsaw, and walked towards him, grinning.

"Ooh, if you want to keep the girl, surely you have to pay, yes? So let me be paid with your body, and I'll pretend nothing happened, alright?"

Ignis nodded, getting the idea, "Hmm, very well, reaper." S/he kissed the other, hand sliding down, the tip of her thumb rubbing against his head, and he moaned in response, gently biting and nibbling on hir neck, reaching down her pants to return the favor. A single squeeze revealed something most would continue strange, but Ignis merely smiled, using his knuckles, running the head along the bumps to please him.

He moaned loudly, feeling blood bead up from the bite marks, which Ignis' licked up passionately, and he arched his back at the sensation, wave after wave of pleasure almost making him putty in the Incubi's hands. Ignis worked on stripping the male, irritated that he had so many layers of clothing with so many buttons, soon resorting to ripping them off, until he was fully nude as well.

Grell shivered, backing up against a wall his legs spread in ecstasy as he panted heavily, begging for more under his breath, the other releasing his aggressive hold on him, getting down on his knees, his tongue teasingly sliding its way up the length, which was responded with a low moan, Ignis putting the tip in his mouth, sliding it in until it touched the roof, and began to suck.

Grell digged his nails, carefully manicured, into the walls, his glasses sliding off his head and onto the floor, Ignis in his own world, one hand pleasuring the length by stroking up and down, another hand sneakily grabbing the other males ass, and his tongue carefully and almost teasingly pleasuring the sensitive skin of the tip, Ignis swallowing the precum as it came out, his warm touch making everything pleasant to the Shinigami.

Grell begged for more, he could feel his climax oncoming, the incubi doing seemingly everything in his power to make him aroused, and it was working. Soon, while Ignis' tongue was lovingly putting pressure in all the right places, he came, the sticky fluid going into the back of Ignis' throat. He swallowed, panting for breath soon after.

"You… You're wonderful…" Grell said, panting between words, Ignis merely smiled, "Oh, I know."

He got up, looking the other deep in the eyes, Grell smiling, "You know, the place where i'm assigned is so dreadfully cold, not even the sight of my love is enough to heat it up." Ignis frowned, "Oh, that's a shame, love. How about you stay with us for a fair bit, me and the other daemon here won't mind."

"Other… Demon?" Grell grinned, thoughts that are too risqué to even write in what could basically described as a pornographic look in a young man's life filled his mind, "Well, for now, how about we just rest for a bit, yes?" Ignis smiled, "Sure thing, love." They both rested on the couch for a while, silently enjoying the others presence, soon falling asleep, both holding each other tightly.

Meanwhile, in London, it was foggy as usual, and a certain blue demon made his way into the Phantomhive manor. "Oh, Sebastian~ What's the matter, are you scared and won't come out?" Celcia yelled, grinning happily as a child with a puppy would. The more fragile, human residents of the manor locked themselves in the broom closet, incessantly arguing which one had to face the frost demon by themselves.

However, a certain butler walked behind him, placing a gloved hand on his shoulder,

"I'm here."

Celcia smirked, "Oh, decided to give yourself up easy, huh?" He turned around, and almost immediately had to resist the urge to run away. "Oh… You've grown."

Sebastian looked down at him, "Yes, yes I have, now, you have to choices right now, either leave of your own will, or it'll be up to me in which way to make you leave."

Summoning up the last bit of courage, Celcia smirked, "Fuck you! I just came here to remind you who the real man here is-" Sebastian grabbed hold of him, and Celcia immediately found himself regretting the past few minutes, his blood running cold.

"Bad choice."


	4. Sub story: Of basic life

Well, this is interlude 2 everyone! Quite frankly, I'm quite happy to talk about this more, today's issue is about the just in general feminization of guys in Yaoi manga. To explain, I've yet to see a single guy, let alone a single gay guy that looks like Sebastian or Ciel (Much to my regret). I just have to say, being more on the average spectrum of body types, I just feel odd seeing it, kind of like how a girl see's a fashion model. In reality, Bara (Don't look it up if you prefer pretty boys.)) is a genre that's written by gay men, that in my opinion is the reverse end of the spectrum, either the guys are 40-ish or stupidly muscular. So, yeah, I'm just digging my copies of Junjou Romantica.

In other news, to finish up my interlude from a while ago, and to answer a question, some Lubricants use gluten instead of sugar.

Now, that's not exactly a sexy name, but it prevents a lot of pain during anal sex due to the prevention of it becoming Gritty due to the sugar solidifying.

Now, for some off-topic non-homosexual news, Prog rockers Rush released a new album recently that's absolutely amazing! I've never paid much attention to Rush, and I really only bought it because Path Of Totality was pretty expensive and it won out over a Skrillex EP.

But, I was really surprised. I really recommend you buy the album as a CD instead of in iTunes or something, because it contains a mini-novel that turns the songs into this Steampunk story, and it has some truly fantastic artwork in there too. Mind you, to get an idea of what the album sounds like, look for the songs 'Bu2b', 'Clockwork Angels', 'Caravan'

But really, Clockwork Angels is pretty awesome.

I don't know really, I've been in a music-y mood lately, and I've been playing around in FL Studio. Maybe one of these days I'll release some music or something, I've been learning how to make Dubstep and all that good stuff, so, hey. If shit gets really nice, Skrillex may or may not be gay, considering some pictures of him kissing other guys released when he was in a Screamo band. But most Emo guys I know really just do that to attract chicks, so who knows?

Also, I've been getting on the tumblr RP scene lately, and while yes it'd a nerdy hobby and I certainly shouldn't be spending so much time on it, it really is fun and the community is full of nice people.

It's just sometimes I feel like I'm the only sane one there. Every other day some of the people I follow talk about deleting or depression, and it really kind of hurts when it's one of the closer people I know. But, I'll just continue and help out when I can, people are only human, y'know?

Next interlude, I'm hoping for an ask the characters section, so via reviews, could you guys care to shoot them some questions?


End file.
